37 Classic College Quotes

1. “You have four years to be irresponsible here. Relax. Work is for people with jobs. You’ll never remember class time, but you’ll remember time you wasted hanging out with your friends. So, stay out late. Go out on a Tuesday with your friends when you have a paper due Wednesday. Spend money you don’t have. Drink ’til sunrise. The work never ends, but college does…” ~Tom Petty
2. “College is like a fountain of knowledge – and the students are there to drink.” ~Unknown
3. “College is the best time of your life. When else are your parents going to spend several thousand dollars a year just for you to go to a strange town and get drunk every night?” ~David Wood
4. “Academe, n.:  An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught.  Academy, n.:  A modern school where football is taught.”  ~Ambrose Bierce
5. “If you tell folks you’re a college student, folks are so impressed. You can be a student in anything and not have to know anything. Just say toxicology or marine biokinesis, and the person you’re talking to will change the subject to himself. If this doesn’t work, mention the neural synapses of embryonic pigeons.” ~Chuck Palaniuk
6. “College is a refuge from hasty judgment.” ~Robert Frost
7. “One of the great mind destroyers of college education is the belief that if it’s very complex, it’s very profound.” ~Dennis Prager
8. “Successful colleges will start laying plans for a new stadium; unsuccessful ones will start hunting a new coach” ~Will Rogers
9. “Talk may be cheap but intelligent conversation is very expensive these days. Ask anyone with a kid in college.” ~Unknown
10. “A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn’t answer the phone.” ~Craig Kilborn
11. “It is not so very important for a person to learn facts. For that he does not really need a college. He can learn them from books. The value of an education is a liberal arts college is not learning of many facts but the training of the mind to think something that cannot be learned from textbooks.”  ~Albert Einstein
12. “A college education should equip one to entertain three things: a friend, an idea and oneself.” ~Thomas Ehrlich
13. “I think college administrators should encourage students to urinate on walls and bushes, because then when students from another college come sniffing around, they’ll know this is someone else’s territory.” ~Jack Handy
14. “If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.” ~Frank Zappa
15. “The most conservative persons I ever met are college undergraduates. The radicals are the men past middle life.” ~Woodrow T. Wilson
16. “Education is a private matter between the person and the world of knowledge and experience, and has little to do with school or college.” ~Lillian Smith
17. “You can lead a boy to college, but you cannot make him think.” ~Elbert Hubbard
18. “Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.” ~Mark Twain
19. “I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.” ~Dave Barry
20. “I am often amazed at how much more capability and enthusiasm for science there is among elementary school youngsters than among college students.” ~Dr. Carl Sagan
21. “A thorough knowledge of the Bible is worth more than a college education” ~Theodore Roosevelt
22. “Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.” ~P. J. O’Rourke
23. “Don’t ever dare to take your college as a matter of course – because, like democracy and freedom, many people you’ll never know have broken their hearts to get it for you.” ~Alice Miller
24. “A college education shows a man how little other people know.” ~Thomas C. Haliburton
25. “If our colleges and universities do not breed men who riot, who rebel, who attack life with all the youthful vim and vigor, then there is something wrong with our colleges. The more riots that come on college campuses, the better world for tomorrow.” ~William Allen White
26. “I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cabdriver. Then they would really be educated.” ~Al McGuire
27. “Americans are the only people in the world known to me whose status anxiety prompts them to advertise their college and university affiliations in the rear window of their automobiles” ~Paul Fussell
28. ” A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in the students.” ~John Ciardi
29. “Of course there’s a lot of knowledge in universities:  the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don’t take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates.” ~Abbott Lawrence Lowell
30. “A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.” ~Theodore Roosevelt
31. “If you feel that you have both feet planted on level ground, then the university has failed you.” ~Robert Goheen
32. “It takes most men five years to recover from a college education, and to learn that poetry is as vital to thinking as knowledge.” ~Brooks Atkinson
33. “A professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep.” ~W.H. Auden
34. “The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth which it prevents you from achieving.” ~Russell Green
35. “Fathers send their sons to college either because they went to college or they didn’t.” ~L.L. Hendren
36. “The primary purpose of a liberal education is to make one’s mind a pleasant place in which to spend one’s leisure.” ~Sydney J. Harris
37. “I learned three important things in college – to use a library, to memorize quickly and visually, to drop asleep at any time given a horizontal surface and fifteen minutes.” ~Agnes DeMille
    

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